Foreign men sound off on difficulties of having a Japanese wife

I wanted someone who was prepared – eager – to spend the rest of his life with me. If I seriously thought there was a good chance of the relationship going irreparably bad or thought that he thought so, we wouldn’t make it as far as marriage in the first place. I don’t need to be told I’m loved every day, but neither do I need to be told – even once – that I’m only here on sufferance so long as I behave meself.

If your goal is to have an unhappy marriage, that’s a great start. Now, I’m not saying every Japanese marriage turns out terribly; just all the ones I know about, in a decade and a half of living in this country. Because you hear the same stories over and over.

Now that we have raked the women over the coals, let’s go after the men who are impossible at housework, adulterous, drunken an whose words to the wive are limited to “shut up.” I guess my only adivice is to realize that your wife is your wife, and the sexual problem is your and hers problem. If you just “pull the plug” you may just find yourself in five or ten years with “the same kind of” wife. Its very possible she doesn’t feel sexy anymore. With the pregnancy, and the baby, and the breast feeding. And though that was over a year ago, once that pattern sets in, ya got to work at restarting the flame.

  • In Japan, domestic disputes have traditionally been seen as a result of negligence or poor support from the female partner.
  • A break from this bottom-up process took place in 2005, when Prime Minister and President of the LDP Junichiro Koizumi himself placed women at the top of the PR lists.
  • However, when it comes to women’s representation in politics, Japan remains behind other developed democracies as well as many developing countries.
  • That means if she ever goes back, there’s a pretty good chance that we’ll be splitting up.
  • Another development is that fewer couples are choosing to share their home with their parents or in-laws, meaning there is no longer someone there who can help look after the children or do housework.

I gotta say that living here, yeah, that kind of makes sense. Western men may think they want to marry a Japanese woman, when what they’re really attracted to is a woman who looks Japanese, even seems Japanese, but without the overbearing cultural baggage. There’s Japanese, https://www.best-surf.fr/2023/01/19/women-in-germany-wikipedia/ and then there’s Japanese, and it pays to know the difference. Your odds of a successful union improve if your fiancé has studied abroad, speaks English, or has watched every episode of Sex and the City. Show that picture to your new love interest, and if she says, “What’s with the dog cone for trees? Alternately, if she starts Japansplaining about how “we Japanese value harmony” or some such bullshit, you need to back slowly away. Of course, one could argue the Japanese concept of marriage is at least pragmatic, and in that, has some advantages over the rose-colored Western version.

If I had to do it all over again, would I marry another Japanese woman?

Perhaps that is just a personal idiosyncrasy, and has nothing to do with her national background……I know very few marriages such as theirs. The problem is that some continue reading https://absolute-woman.com/blog/japanese-wife-culture/ partners, Japanese or not, already know that they would not last too long in a relationship with one of their own kind. So, they are clever and go for somebody from another nationality. And a lot of these can be insecure and selfish, thus making the relationship look like it is cultural problem. Some of them also feel like they married a foreigner just to live above and beyond their means and do not care about living within a budget. I’ve always been under the idea that one should never marry a person that still lives off their parents. Because if you can’t even take care of yourself, how can you take care of others considering the responsibility of starting a family of your own?

Enjoy your life in Japan with Your Own Car!

In the Tokugawa period, men could divorce their wives simply through stating their intention to do so in a letter. Wives could not legally arrange for a divorce, but options included joining convents, such as at Kamakura, where men were not permitted to go, thus assuring a permanent separation.

I started AsiaGraphix.com as a way to share all the lessons I’ve learned about dating an Asian woman. Each passing year brings a deeper understanding to me that women are women – no matter where they come from.

I took off 3 years to raise my daughter, Made money in the stock market and doing consulting work part time for Japanese companies. I started traveling more on business but I was always home 2 weeks during the month.

If you don’t want something different, if you don’t want a man who complains about things instead of saying shoganai and shelling out money idiotically, if you don’t enjoy sex, leave the foreign guys alone! Don’t have kids with them and then ruin their lives by becoming a stubborn, Japanese obachan. Don’t marry a guy speaking English and then expect him to suddenly learn Japanese. Go marry a Japanese drone who will mutter shoganai or say nothing at all. Quite a few non-Japanese I know give their entire https://ssc-serwis.pl/labor-force-female-of-total-labor-force-european-union/ salary to their wives, beg her for some pocket money when they want to go out, then complain about this state of affairs. In the vast majority of cases foreign men can be happily married to Japanese women, but this is tested when children are involved. They wouldn’t divorce because of their children and the social stigma, but they find their wives unpleasant the majority of the time.

Modern Japanese Wife Culture and Marriage

After about 4-5 years of marriage I started getting the pressure to find a seishain job with a higher salary. N Strangerland’s defense there are news reports of Japanese women taking the kids and without a word to the non-Japanese husband going to the airport and returning to Japan. Then the gaijin husband makes his way to Japan and demands to see his kids …